Book Review - "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

Part One: Summary of Book

A particular fascination of mine is reflecting on and predicting how the future might look. For this reason, I'm interested in history and who appeared to have a good grasp of what holds value in the unfolding world. In the 1936 book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People," Dale Carnegie looked to turn positive human interactions and leading people into a science. The book was written during the emergence of psychology and certainty, well before the popularization of emotional intelligence. While not known as the first book about this topic, reading Carnegie's work, I couldn't help but think this publication most likely introduced the concept of EQ to the masses.

Carnegie believed that eighty-five percent of one's "financial success" was "due to skill in human engineering…and the ability to lead people (Carnegie)." Understanding the significance of human skills, he devoted his time and resources to comprehensively examining these topics. He scoured through the teachings of "old philosophers" and "new psychologists," newspaper columns, magazine articles, and family court records in this pursuit. He conducted interviews with successful individuals - Thomas Edison, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Clark Gable, to name a few. Additionally, he hired a researcher to visit various libraries to find more content that would be valuable to this topic. They digested many biographies of great leaders to understand how they worked with people.

The data set used for "How to Win Friends and Influence People" begins at early documented civilization and takes us to the 1930s. The shared ideas within the book come from analyzing this data set and recognizing trends within it. The prework conducted is not only impressive, but it helps uncover concepts that are still relevant in organizational behavior today.

The book is presented in four parts. Within each, Carnegie shares a list of emotional concepts that he presents as universal truths to the human experience. For example, when discussing how to be an effective leader in Part Four, he lists nine rules that you must abide by to succeed in this pursuit. This work from the 1930s resembles a blog post in the 21st century more closely than a typical non-fiction popular press publication. Carnegie provides his audience with lists of actions to "win friends and influence people" in the pursuance of becoming more financially successful.

The book's core idea is to cater to the needs of your audience to advance yourself. One accomplishes this by implementing the techniques listed under each of the following parts. Part One, Fundamental Techniques in Handling People. Part Two, Six Ways to Make People Like You. Part Three, How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking. Part Four, Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment (Carnegie).

While it may seem cynical not to give Carnegie the benefit of the doubt regarding his book's intentions, the use of deception was objectively a component of his first book's promotional strategy. In 1913, Dale Carnagey, changed the spelling of his last name to Carnegie to provide credibility to his book "Public Speaking and Influencing Men of Business." The hope, presumably, was that people would associate his educational offering with the successful steel industry family (Biography.com). Considering this disingenuous business practice and reading the overall tone of "How to Win Friends and Influence People," Carnegie's book comes across as strategies for manipulating people rather than influencing them.

Due to the list nature of his work, I find that the only way to comprehensively capture each of Carnegie's findings is within the same format. Below is a comprehensive outline of those concepts I’ve extracted from each of his thirty chapters:

Part One - Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Do not criticize, complain, or condemn.

2. Be honest and sincere in your appreciation of others.

3. Get the other person to want.

Part Two - Six Ways to Make People Like You

1. Be interested in other people.

2. Smile all the time.

3. When conversing with others, find opportunities to say their name.

4. Encourage others to talk about themselves and listen.

5. Speak to others’ interests.

6. Make the other person feel important, and they'll like you.

Part Three - How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1. Avoid arguments.

2. Never say "you're wrong," and show respect for the opinions of others.

3. Admit when you, yourself, are wrong.

4. Always start conversations in a friendly manner.

5. Get others to agree with you immediately, saying "yes, yes," making it easier for them to agree later in the conversation.

6. Listen more than you speak.

7. Let the person believe they came up with the solution on their own.

8. Try to see things from the other person's point of view.

9. Be empathetic to others' feelings.

10. Speak to nobler intentions as we're all idealists at heart.

11. Dramatize what you're sharing, it's effective, and everyone does it.

12. Challenge others.

Part Four - Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

1. Begin with praise before providing negative feedback.

2. Indirectly point out people's mistakes.

3. Share examples of your mistakes before pointing out the mistakes of others.

4. Give suggestions, not orders.

5. Do not embarrass others- let them save face.

6. Praise every improvement, even the smallest ones.

7. Remind others of their positive reputation before sharing negative feedback.

8. Make problems seem easy to fix.

9. "Always make the other person happy about the thing you suggest."

Part Two: Reaction and Critique

Within the introduction to his book, Carnegie explained how there was an identified need for a "practical textbook" on the topic of "human engineering," sharing "since no such book existed, I have tried to write one (Carnegie)." Three decades earlier, Frederick Taylor first published the concept of "Scientific Management," a systematic study of improving efficiencies in the relationships between people and tasks. This was the birth of organizational behavior. Guiding the study were four principles, the first two bare resemblances to the methods used in "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Principle one uses the scientific method to study work and determine a streamlined process for performing specific tasks. Carnegie's approach of reviewing a massive data set, validating trends over an extensive timeframe, and refining previous hypotheses also utilizes the scientific method. His goal is similar to that of Taylor, with one key caveat. Instead of improving efficiencies between people and tasks, the aim was to improve efficiencies between people and other people.

Taylor's second principle creates rules of the actions individuals must take to achieve efficiencies. Carnegie's book is precisely such. It is four lists of rules which establish efficiencies in human relations. While the final two principles do not align with Carnegie's book, it's fair to suggest that the methods used by Taylor influenced him. And while this may simply be ironic, Carnegie decided to break his book into four parts, much like Taylor has four principles to scientific management.

Further support is perceived as part one, "fundamental techniques in handling people," could've seamlessly been inserted into part two, "six ways to make people like you." For a clearer understanding of this point, refer to the outline on page three. As a final thought, the timeline matches up.

Speaking more to society's understanding during this era, the study of human relations began in the late 1920s. "Human relations" is mentioned several times within Carnegie's book. He isn't shy about acknowledging it as known terminology. The goal of human relations was to address the socially complex variables that scientific management did not. Carnegie saw mastery of these variables as the key to financial success. To expand on a previously shared quote, "about 15 percent of one's financial success is due to one's technical knowledge, and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering- to personality and the ability to lead people (Carnegie)." Carnegie wanted to create the "practical textbook" to address the eighty-five percent. I liken this sum of the parts equals the whole example to a graduate student pursuing both an MBA and an MS in Management.

The findings of the Hawthorne Studies were published only a few years before the release of "How to Win Friends and Influence People." This study provided vital data to support the validity of human relations theory. It found that productivity levels will increase if your workforce's social needs are acknowledged. These social needs influence work-related attitudes and behavior. Within Carnegie's book, there isn't a shortage of rules that reflect this finding:

• Be interested in other people.

• Speak to others' interests.

• Make the other person feel important, and they'll like you.

• Let the person believe they came up with the solution on their own.

• Try to see things from the other person's point of view.

• Be empathetic to others' feelings.

Understanding the information above helps a people manager understand employees' attitudes, which affects employee performance. Affective events theory shares that employees have emotional reactions to specific workplace events, influencing their workplace attitudes. Utilizing human relations theory, a manager can mitigate potential negative emotional responses. By initially catering to your employees' emotions, you heighten the likelihood of their workplace harmony.

The appearance of emotional intelligence only dates back 25 years. However, we understand Taylor's earlier research provided its groundwork, and I believe that Carnegie first popularized many of the EQ concepts. And go figure, there are four factors most associated with emotional intelligence.

The factors are self-awareness, other awareness, emotional regulation, and emotional use. These are much as they sound. "Self-awareness" is the appraisal and expression of one's own emotions, where "other awareness" regards the emotions of others. Of the thirty rules that Carnegie shares within his book, twenty-eight can be classified as either "self-awareness" or "other awareness." Carnegie knows awareness.

"Emotional use" is recognizing your own emotions and leveraging them to your benefit. This book's purpose is to gather the knowledge required to connect with others emotionally so that you can influence them. I believe that every one of Carnegie's "self-awareness" rules can additionally be classified under the "emotional use" factor. Appendix I shares this detailed analysis.

Interestingly, we can spot the evolution of thought from Carnegie's book to modern-day emotional intelligence. "Emotional regulation" is one's ability to recover from their own emotional experiences. This concept is not discussed within Carnegie's book and is divergent from the course material. I'll attempt to explain the potential reasoning for the absence of this consideration.

Carnegie was obvious as to his intentions for the book. He wanted to help his audience "win friends and influence people." Attempting to create a science-like approach, he possibly experienced tunnel vision, solely focused on the emotional needs of others while neglecting his own. While this sounds altruistic, it's not. Carnegie is clear that mastery of the concepts within his book will lead to financial success. Wealth is an extrinsic motivator, and probably at the top of Carnegie’s mind. However, we understand that individuals also have intrinsic motivators and needs. These aren't acknowledged in this book because emotional regulation wasn't a factor for Carnegie.

Carnegie's shared approach only focuses on "winning" and "influencing" one person at a time. His book doesn't share transferrable strategizes for leading groups of people. That leadership depth isn't present. If seeking strategies for leading an organization, start with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, Herzberg's Two Factor Theory, or Self-Determination Theory. Carnegie's focus is far too transactional.

He wrote this book in the era where the majority of business happened with handshake agreements. Information either came from a friend, relative, or salesperson. The skill of "winning friends and influencing people" meant something different in 1936 than it does today. With mastery, you'd have the skills necessary to secure incredible wealth in America.

This isn't a leadership book. It's a sales book. Ironic as I author a paper titled "Team/Leadership Book Review." Carnegie doesn't talk about teams. And influence is the only tangentially related topic to leadership which he discusses. He, of course, discusses this topic almost exclusively. Carnegie teaches his readers actual behaviors "that cause behavioral or attitudinal changes in others (Ehrhardt)." This is the definition of influence. While "rational persuasion" would most likely be a tool in Carnegie's belt, he doesn't overtly share it as a strategy within the book. However, "inspirational appeal" is captured in Part Three- Speak to nobler intentions as we're all idealists at heart, and additionally in Part Two- Speak to others' interests. Influence in terms of "consultation" is addressed in Part Three- Let the person believe they came up with the solution on their own. Finally, "collaboration" is seen in Part Four- Make problems seem easy to fix. Carnegie knows influence.

The rules shared within "How to Win Friends and Influence People" could not serve as the "practical textbook" for human relations in 2021. It would serve as a book to read before you begin your financial sales career or recruit your downline in some multi-level marketing scheme- Oddly enough, network marketing emerged in the 1930s. It makes you wonder. But the message within Carnegie's book relating to emotional awareness at an individual level was astounding for his time. I believe this because his rules still hold today. Except for today, the study of human relations is much broader. Technology advances, work environments change, people evolve, and we invent more things to understand.

Works Cited

Carnegie, Dale. How to Win Friends and Influence People. Rev. ed. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1981. Print.

“Dale Carnegie.” Biography.com, A&E Networks Television, 15 Apr. 2019, https://www.biography.com/writer/dale-carnegie.

Ehrhardt, Kyle. “Leadership.” Leadership, Influence and Power. 29 Sept. 2021, University of Colorado Denver

“Organizational Behavior.” Unknown. Organizational Behavior. Minneapolis, MN: University of Minnesota Libraries Publishing Edition, 2017.

Appendix I

Factors of Emotional Intelligence within Carnegie’s Rules

Part One - Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

(SA) Do not criticize, complain, or condemn.

(SA) Be honest and sincere in your appreciation of others.

(OA) Get the other person to want.

Part Two - Six Ways to Make People Like You

(OA) Be interested in other people.

(OA) Smile all the time.

(OA) When conversing with others, find opportunities to say their name.

(OA) Encourage others to talk about themselves and listen.

(OA) Speak to others’ interests.

(OA) Make the other person feel important, and they'll like you.

Part Three - How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

(SA) Avoid arguments.

(SA) Never say "you're wrong," and show respect for the opinions of others.

(SA) Admit when you, yourself, are wrong.

(SA) Always start conversations in a friendly manner.

(NONE) Get others to agree with you immediately, saying "yes, yes,"

(SA+OA) Listen more than you speak.

(OA) Let the person believe they came up with the solution on their own.

(SA+OA) Try to see things from the other person's point of view.

(SA+OA) Be empathetic to others' feelings.

(OA) Speak to nobler intentions as we're all idealists at heart.

(SA+OA) Dramatize what you're sharing, it's effective, and everyone does it.

(OA) Challenge others.

Part Four - Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

(OA) Begin with praise before providing negative feedback.

(OA) Indirectly point out people's mistakes.

(SA+OA) Share examples of your mistakes before pointing out the mistakes of others.

(OA) Give suggestions, not orders.

(OA) Do not embarrass others- let them save face.

(OA) Praise every improvement, even the smallest ones.

(OA) Remind others of their positive reputation before sharing negative feedback.

(NONE) Make problems seem easy to fix.

(OA) "Always make the other person happy about the thing you suggest."

Key

SA = Self-Awareness

OA = Other Awareness

NONE = Not Applicable

Emotion Use

Submitted 10/13/21